Almost every family in Nigeria has that uncle, cousin or aunt that lives with them. In fact, very few of us grew up without such people in our homes. The understanding that one must be his brother’s keeper is ingrained in us. However, could it ever be too early for a couple to have someone staying with them?
In our parents’ time, a woman could be going to the husband’s house and she would leave with her younger sister. It could be under the guise of having someone to help her around the house but then it was no big deal. But men! Times have changed.
I am not encouraging being stingy in the name of recession or hard times. After all, it is only when you give that you will be able to receive but we must be realistic as well. Dear husband or wife’s family, even if you want the couple to help with some of the children in the house, give them time to enjoy each other’s company first and settle into being a married couple. They are just starting out. Give them time to learn the ropes. In the meantime, the couple can send money for the person’s upkeep.
In my opinion, at least 6 months should be given to the couple before they take on any live-in dependents. Anything less is unfair to the couple.
On the other hand, it is possible that the guy or the lady already had someone staying with them before the marriage. In that case, I would not suggest that the person be sent away. The couple should make their peace with the matter even before the wedding or if there is an option, settle it with the family.
I believe in family first but can’t the couple be given some breathing space first?
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