How To Become An Instantly Better Listener

1) Passionate People Use A Lot Of Absolutes. Absolutes are words like always, never, everybody, nobody, everything and nothing. Words like these can drive you crazy if you listen to them literally. They can derail a conversion very quickly. Don't listen to absolutes verbatim. If you do, you will end up debating facts instead of communicating. Don't use them if you can help it.

2) Give Your Undivided Attention. Stop what you are doing when someone is talking to you.
If you are watching television, turn it off out of respect for the person who is talking. This is a great way to show value to someone. Do it for children, your partner, your friends and your parents. This gives a message that they are more important than what you are watching or doing. Do it without sighing or making an aggravated expression.


3) Look At The Person Who Is Talking. Eye contact shows sincerity. It tells the person who is talking that you are listening and are engaged in the conversion. Eye contact shows that you are interested in what the person has to say.

4) Use Positive Body Language. Lean slightly forward to further convey interest. Uncross your arms to show openness to what they have to say as opposed to arms crossed that tends to be read as defensiveness.

5) Remember You Have Two Ears and One Mouth. Listening is an art form. A good listener is a rare person. A two ears and one mouth approach helps you keep listening in your mind as a priority. It is better to be a good listener than to be a good speaker. Shy people may disagree that it is the truth.

6) You Don't Have To Make Your Point Right Now. Don't steal the conversation by jumping in too quickly to make your own point. Be patient. Just listen. You'll get your turn. You will have more information. You will have better understanding as well. If you are angry, it may be a better idea to wait to make your point.

7) Do Not Retaliate. If the person says something you don't like you do not have to react. A wise person does not retaliate. They listen. Things said in angry, hurt or frustration can sometimes lead to permanent damage to the relationship between you and the other person.

8) Women Are Never Upset For The Reason You Think. This one is for the men. Women don't do it intentionally but they talk in a coded message. What you hear and what they say are often two different things. It is best to start off from this understanding and then set out to crack the code. Men tend to hear that something needs to be fixed, what they do is never good enough, griping, nagging or complaining. He basically hears that he is doing a lousy job and he gets a zero for his effort. He thinks "a zero" is ridiculous and unappreciative. He in turn stops listening. It is important that a man does not hold this common but false conclusion


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